My soul is vexed and has been from the moment I awoke. Lies and deceptions are waxing worse and worse and speeding through God's elect so fast, it's making my head spin. I felt compelled to share my thoughts and if you are reading this, it is because God has lead you to my blog. Viewer discretion is advised!
I am getting real tired of hearing sob stories from people who were so fortunate to have had God's protection and blessings from infancy. I hear things like "I was deprived and sheltered as a child". Well, thank God for it!! You were sheltered because of the same reason why Adam and Eve "ONLY" lived in paradise. They had a father that only wanted the best for His children. They, too, didn't want to listen to God and "see the world" too! They lived in absolute PARADISE!! If you think it was such a "tough" childhood, I would like you to listen to my story and MANY others who weren't so fortunate. YES, you are fortunate.
My parents kicked the bible and Jesus out of our home and let me tell you what happens in a home that kick out the love and protection that ONLY Jesus can provide. I was molested from the time of infancy till I was 12 yrs old, raped at the age of 7, beside my sister in our own bed. My parents divorced when I was 11, which is devastating in a child's life. Apparently just as devastating to my dad who tried committing suicide all through my teen years. I ended up in a stepfather's house who was a complete drunkard that called me a horrible names that I didn't even understand like whore at 12 years old. I was hit and sometimes totally beaten if I said the wrong thing. I moved out at 14 and resorted to whatever could dull the pain even if it was for an hour, if it meant drugs, alcohol or being held in any man's arms.
I came into God's arms at 22 years old and would have given my right arm to have the childhood that you have turned your nose up and claimed it was too hard, too many rules. Well, without rules, the devil has full dominion. I don't understand why, when God created and held you through your childhood and kept you whole, that you would want to bash yourself into a thousand pieces, just to start all over again?? When people like myself crawled into our adulthood in a thousand pieces trying desperately to put those pieces back together so we can give our children the childhood that you so readily despise??
Do not be deceived, this life of the one God, Holy Ghost, HOLY LIVING lifestyle IS the ultimate truth as I begged God to show me His face and he heard my cry as a 7 year old totally destroyed and ripped apart little girl. He lead me when I could take this devil's life no more. There is nothing else in this life worth living for~AND THAT'S THE TRUTH!!!
BTW I poured my heart out on this post not to offend anyone, but to spiritually wake you up!!
July 26, 2009 Pastor Johnny King created a masterpiece on this subject~please listen!!http://www.truthchurch.com/media_player.php?FILEID=170 "When your feelings lie to you" Way to go PK!! I'm following close behind you as you follow Christ:)
Hi my beautiful sister. Thank you for that testimony!!! Your childhood was terrible but it certainly made you give yourself completely to God without reservation. Some of us truly take our childhood for granted. Thank God for his hands on me as a child. It is amazing how God can turn such a devastating life into something so beautiful!!! That would be a wonderful testimony to put on our church blog.
ReplyDeleteCheryl :)
I have no words to adequately express myself, Deanna, except thank you for being willing to make yourself vulnerable. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteThank you two for your support. I felt like you did, Darla when you wrote "Internet"! Sometimes things build up inside until you just have to release it no matter the cost! All for the sake of Christ, and He is worthy!!!
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! I hear ya! People (those blessed to be brought up in it) look and only see the results of God's grace in us. They do not see the journey some of us had to make to reach that grace! No way, no how, do I want to go back to the world. If one person can hear what you are saying and purpose in their heart to stay with God it will be worth you exposing yourself like you have in this blog. My heart cries for that little girl. Pray God that we can be a sanctuary for more Deannas in Sunday School. I feel God is leading, guiding, molding, and shaping us in love getting us ready for them. Love you sooooooo much. What God has created is absolutely stunningly beautiful! You!
ReplyDeleteLike I told you at Camp Deanna, I cried when I read this. I had nooo idea. Do we not serve an AMAZING Savior? Only HE can take a broken, shattered life and put the pieces back together so you can be whole and there for the next little hurting Deanna. Because only someone who has been through abuse can truly help the next hurting soul through the same thing.
ReplyDeleteI am still marvelling at the wholeness that occurs when our Master so perfectly puts us back together.
Deanna, I love you girl, love your spirit, love your personality, love your attitude! Agreed 100% with your post!
Hope to see you for our anniversary services!
God Bless!
Deanna,
ReplyDeleteI would like to reply to this as a young person who has been born and raised in church. I dont know how much background you know about me and Jenna, but we were in cadets, and were tested numerous times to go against our convictions. In high school, same thing. God kept me through those times, and not once was I ungrateful for the hedges and barriers which have kept the world at bay. It breaks my heart to see young people who walk out on God. There is NO reason to. I do not care how hard it is, there is no reason. I appreciate your testimony very much.
God bless
Rachel
That was an awesome message! I listened to that too. Great post deana!
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks for your comments and encouragements:) Love to all xxoo
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